i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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