I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
