How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
