if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
