His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
