I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
