He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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