He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
