Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
