What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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