hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
