so explain again why im purple
no
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
