I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
