i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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