Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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