dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
