I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
