I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Come on in and take your pants off
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