Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
