she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
