I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
