i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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