i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
