you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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