Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
