my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize