My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
