If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
