thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
