I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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