I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
