Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize