Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
These tits shall not be calmed
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
