i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
