remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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