Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
