come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
