she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
