I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm like, not good at living.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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