I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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