I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Can Purell be used as lube?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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