You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
