he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize