no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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