I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There's always time for handjobs
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sorry about my life...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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