Quick, to the slutcave!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
dude. I can hear the air.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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