We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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