Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Two words: blizzard sex
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
