I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He? As in you personified your dick?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
