come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
