Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
