i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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