Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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