whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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