Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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