so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
