3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
